FredN: High Fidelity

Never forget that although someone may wear an article of clothing, a shoe wears you.

Despite the difficulty of clomping around in bamboo stilt Prada wedges or a patent leather construction that resembles a japanese dominatrix’ interpretation from Nina Ricci, the platform twin-towers are wearing us with a vengeance.

My on-again, off-again love affair with chunky high heeled shoes may seem ridiculous for some people. But when you consider the risks of wearing them, it starts to make sense…

A couple of years ago, while strolling through Manhattan’s East village, I fell down the subway stairs in a pair of vintage wood platform heels, sprained my ankle, and as a result ended up with a variety of foot problems. Painful as they are, I’ve never let anything stop me from wearing whatever style of shoes happen to be hot and high. The fact is, I can’t, because (a) I’m just 5”7, and (b) I don’t have to be just 5”7. So this season, I intend to wear plenty of platforms; they’ll balance out my new oversized tees and frothy chiffon pieces and, I’m hoping, will radically extend my legs without killing me in the process.

A new found friend of mine, is a physiotherapist who treats more than a few fashion people, and whom I’ve come to see (sinds the ‘NYC-fall’) to whip my tired, bunion-plagued feet and slouchy posture into shape for high-heel season. She carefully observes me as I take two ungraceful laps around her office in my favorite pair of Balenciaga wedges. ‘Your ankles aren’t ready,’ she says. ‘I hate to say it, but I don’t think you should wear these shoes–ever.’

It’s a harsh diagnosis, but I soon learn I’m not the first person who’s tootsies have been destroyed by improper footwear.

Maybe it’s because you work in fashion,” she says. ”Your shoulders are hunched and your tummy tucked in, and your feet are turned out thanks to a shortened Achilles tendon.” So essentially, I walk like a coiled-up duck. But there’s a bright side too: ”Your leg muscles are definitely working harder, which means you have toned legs,” she says.” But I’d never want to be mis-quoted by saying it’s a workout.”

In fact, if I truly insist on wearing the shoes, she recommends that I should start on a routine of insane exercises; flexing and pointing my toes, wiggle them, and lifting a tennis ball with my ankles to lengthen and strengthen my muscles. Since there’s no way I’m willing to miss out on one of the most exciting platform seasons in years, I immediately start exercising.

After observing Naomi Campbell’s most famous fall-down at Westwood over and over again, it made me think of how high can high heels be for me? – does a maximum exsist for being on top?

”It’s about elevating a person, not nailing one to the ground.” Sunny says. My best friend, who was born in high heels and worn them ever since.”Platforms are sexy because they soften the figure and give the walk a certain nonchalance.”

Nonchalance I am working on, and I’m still learning to get rid of my crippled-duck gait…

”The most difficult part is getting used to not feeling the ground beneath your feet. But once you’ve mastered that, always, always walk with confidence, and don’t forget to sashay.”Sunny said.

For me sashay, which is, of course, nothing but a fierce shout-out, a modern take on the historical geisha’s, who rocked their platforms with a certain attitude and ankle lifted their waythrough life.

Meanwhile the physiotherapist, would prefer me to sashay in sneakers…

There’s a lot of things we do to ourselves every day that are bad. What’s more important, are the things we do to balance them. Or put it this way: no pain, no gain.